What You've All Been Waiting For....

OK, so today brings us to what you've all been waiting with bated breath for, and probably the reason why I do this blog in the first place: the unveiling of my Top 20 albums of the Year list (and to think, back when I wrote for The Collegian all I did was a Top 10.... such a slacker was I in college). But first, I've gotta get a few things off of my chest...

-- If you at all care about The Chapelle Show and are somewhat curious/pissed off about the disappearance of Season 3, you must read this (hat tip to Joey for first pointing me in this direction). Now, I'm not saying that I necessarily believe it... in fact, it strikes me as something akin to a far fetched conspiracy theory, but it is interesting to think about/discuss. I read this off and on for most of the afternoon yesterday at work, and drove home all fired up to write about this and take shots at Farrakhan, Cosby, Oprah, Sharpton, et al. but I seriously questioned how much worth was really in it, given that there are a lot of things that are head scratching, at best. Like I said, it's something akin to a crackpot conspiracy theory, but it's at least an interesting thing to discuss over a few beers.

-- If you all have not been checkin' for what my man Douglas has been puttin' down, y'all have been missing out. First, last week he dropped this little fun game on all y'all:

"and here's a thing to do, it sorta worked me for yesterday. first, get a copy of the economist or print an article from their website and take along with you when you're going to go some thing or place that'll be boring, like real boring. and just play the game, is what i'm doing or the presentation i'm listening is it more boring than reading about european farming tariffs. if what you're doing is boring enough that ou decide to spice it up with an article about euros and the eating habbits of french people, then you've reached rock bottom, like heroin addiction rock bottom, like crack cocaine bottom. "

(And yeah, I think that's funny in part because my roommate subscribes to The Economist and treats it as near Gospel, whereas most of the time I glance at the cover when it's sitting on our dining room table and think something along the lines of "Remind me why I give a fuck?" Maybe, as much as I'd like to think so, I'm just not highbrow enough.)

Then, yesterday, he dropped this lil' gem: "the legal system works, if you're some goofy guy wearing a bloc party t-shirt to court, if you're dressed nicely, then you're shit out of luck." I find this absolutely hiliarious, seeing as how pretty much every job I've ever had has been in the legal field, and my entire family is lawyers. And that's a pretty fucking funny comment on our legal system (especially one in which John Roberts and Alberto Gonzalez rule the roost), circa 2005.

Basically, if you're not checking Doug's site on a daily basis, I don't know what to tell you at this point. It's fucking hot fire.

Anywho, enough with the dicklicking and butt kissing, let's get on to why you are really here. Originally, I was gonna try and post a lil' introduction piece about some nonsense like "The Top5 Lyrical Moments of 2005," but I realized that was a far too hokey way to simply shout out lyrics I found witty (read: turned into AIM away messages) and posit how Cam's line on Juelz's "Murda Murda" ("Get it together now, now you my papes right/ Come thru late night, I know what it taste like/ Some good coke dog, go get your face piped/ Put on my Laker jersey and then go rape white (No. 8)") might be the most offensive and savage diss I've heard in a long while (and probably my favorite line of the year, KB8 being the star of my underachieving fantasy team notwithstanding). And I was gonna try and pontificate on how System's "Why don't you ask the kids at Tiannamen Square-- was fashion the reason why they were there?" line was a line that, in addition to being one of the few SOAD lyrics that makes any kind of sense, made me think far too much than it should and force me to go off into a half cocked quasi-intellectual ramble... but fuck all that.

So instead, let's talk about two or three notable omissions from this list and why they're not there, shall we?

Kanye West, Late Registration
Ok, I realize that Kanye made one of the better hip hop debuts in a while with Dropout (even though I wasn't on his dick nearly as hard as some that I know, even then), and I give him his props for putting W on blast with that whole "George Bush doesn't care about black people" deal... but c'mon. I'll be the first to admit that when I first heard the thunderous beats of "Diamonds," I allowed my hype to pretty much pencil in Registration into my Top 10 list....but c'mon, this is a classic album? Really? Give me "Touch The Sky" (will Lupe Fiasco blow up next year?), "Drive Slow," "Diamonds," and "Gone," and then you can pretty much keep the rest. That's a classic maxi-single, dogs, not a classic album. If anything, this was the biggest disappointment of '05, not one of it's crowning achievements.

Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Much like Kanye, lots of heads are championing this album. I guess part of it has to do with the whole "Free Fiona, Sony fucked her!"/"Oh wait, no they didn't..." controversy, and the switching from Jon Brion to Mike Elizondo as producers (people seem to love the Brion version), but I don't really see it. When I think of Fiona Apple, I don't think of the scarily seemingly anorexic chanteuse prancing around in the "Criminal" video, but I do think of the scarily seemingly anorexic chanteuse who concocted heartbreakingly emotional tour de forces such as "Shadowboxer" and "Never Is A Promise," seemingly on a whim. And that kind of emotion, that degree of passion, seems to be lacking from Extraordinary Machine, despite all it's hype to the contrary (for that, go listen to Cat Power). I agree with Ian on this one.

Common, Be
Much like Kanye, I think people over hyped this album, seemingly simply because it wasn't the usual G-Unit party-bitches-guns-coke rap album. And believe me, I'm more than happy that Common got his head out of Erykah Badu's genitalia and returned from planet hippie to make actual hip hop music, but please, let's not go overboard here. Sure, "The Corner" was a blistering single and certainly a welcome return to the fold (after the Jigga shout and the guest verse on "Get 'Em High," even if he seems to completely disregard the beat), and even as someone who adores Cam'ron and the Clipse I can appreciate the consciousness that artists like Common bring to the table, but it's not like dude went and re-made Resurrection here. This was one of those albums where I played it a few times when it first dropped, noted it's merits, didn't play it again, then sat around sort of stunned when everyone and there mom started waving the Common banner loud and proud.

Anywho, before we begin to dissect the records that actually, ya know, made it onto my Top 20, I'd just like to make a note here: This was the first year where I actually kept a word document on my computer all year, where I'd constantly jot down albums that I thought might actually be worthy of "Best Of" status. So, the likelihood that I missed something (in my own opinion, anyway), is lessened. Unfortunately, I picked a year which lacked a ton of truly compelling, knock you on your ass records, so that after #1 or 2, there's alot of solid, good records, rather than great ones. As such, the order of this list could probably easily be switched around, and I could probably switch a couple of records on the back end with records that didn't make it, and it wouldn't change much in my opinion. Just needed to get that out of there. Enough blather, here's the list (finally).

20. The Game, The Documentary
While this was a solid record which basically resuciated West Coast hip hop as a viable commercial vehicle and packed some absolutely titanic beats ("Westside Story," "Higher," "Put You On The Game"), this record deserves its place almost as much for what it represents as for what it does musically. Namely, this is the record that signals the end of the G-Unit onslaught which overran hip hop music for the past two years. In a year which saw G-Unit fail amazingly, both in your stereo (The Massacre, Thoughts of A Predicate Felon) and in your local cinema (Get Rich or Die Tryin'), is it any wonder that the one dude who put out a worthwhile record got kicked out of the camp (subsequently revealing to the world just what a petulant bitch 50 is in the process)?
19. Dangerdoom, The Mask & The Mask
It's amazing what can happen when you combine ace head nodding production (Dangermouse) with dense, creative rhymes from one of the undergrounds favorite sons (M.F Doom). Throw in an assist from Adult Swim, and you've got a compelling, intensely enjoyable album. Forget 50, how about the story of Dangermouse as a movie? Little known hip hop beat digging nerd spends days and nights in his bedroom crafting a surprisingly inventive mashup of Jay-Z and the Beatles, said album gets downloaded by seemingly the entire globe, then dude parlays subsequent notoriety into high profile production gigs for M.F. Doom, Gorillaz, and soon to come, Gnarls Barkley. Rabid success ensues and money ensues, no one gets shot. On second thought.... that's probably a pretty boring movie. But this album bumps, and is anything but boring.
18. Royksopp, The Understanding
I'm probably the only blogger that has this album anywhere near his Top 20 list, but whatever... that's why I'm me, and you're you. Nevertheless, I dig this album, from the chilled, understated opener of "Triumphant" (odd, in that you would expect a track with the name of "Triumphant" to be a bold, balls to the wall statement, from an album opener no less), flowing through the bouncy grooves of "Only This Moment" and "Follow My Ruin," to the bumping beat and catchy hook of "What Else Is There?" I'm unashamed to admit that I like techno (more than most, probably), but nevertheless, if you give it a chance, there are plenty of moments to savor on this album.
17. Maximo Park, A Certain Trigger
I like to think of them as the British equivalent to Interpol, and in a year in which Interpol didn't release an album, that's good enough to garner a spot on my list. Actually, these guys use catchy hooks and captivating guitars enough to distance them from the rest of the whole "Nu New Wave" movement which has spawned in the wake of the success of The Strokes, Interpol, Bloc Party, et al for my taste. They're equally adept at writing well crafted rockers ("Graffiti") as they are at writing haunting ballads ("Acrobat," championed on my 2005 Mixtape), all the while crafting more pop hooks than you can shake a stick at into each and every song. I still don't know how the hell they wound up on Warp, though.
16. Edan, Beauty & The Beat
For some reason, in some circles it has become cliche to hate on this album, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. Me, I dig the blend of turntable wizardry with old school inspired production and rhymes. Pulling samples from all over the place, Beauty & The Beat sounds exactly like a more mainstream DJ Shadow or a far nerdier (and less rock obsessed) Z-Trip would concoct, given the right mindstate.
15. Z-Trip, Shifting Gears
Speaking of Z-Trip..... if you've got friends that swear up and down that they don't like hip hop, this is the album to throw on the stereo when in their presence. This disc is jam packed with party rockin' beats and rhymes which are virtually guaranteed to get even the staunchiest wall flower tapping their feet and moving their ass. At the very least, they'll get a chuckle out of the cartoon inspired silliness that is "Breakfast Club." But that's not to say their aren't gems to be discovered in the album's latter half for those that have already been converted to hip hop (and at this point, who hasn't?), such as the surprisingly funky break up lament "Everything Changes," the thunderous Chuck D guest shot "Shock And Awe," and the DJ Shadow-lite workout found on "Revolution (STR Parts 1 + 2)." The only true misstep on this album is the Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) collabo, "Walking Dead," which sounds like a long lost Exciter-era Depeche Mode b-side (and not in a good way).
14. Ivy, In The Clear
The best pure pop album I heard all year. Each and every one of the 10 tracks featured on this album feature sugary hooks and gorgeous melodies, all perfectly executed and layered with icy cool female vocals. Your girlfriend would probably love this album, if only she knew who the fuck Ivy were.
13. System of a Down, Mesmerize
Although Hypnotize was something of a disappointment, that fact only stands to further enhance the value of this, the first slab of the double disc effort. Whether it's the breakneck riffing and off-kilter melodies of "B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Bombs)"-- one of the better singles of '05, certainly in the hard rock arena-- to the Slayer-on-steroids bombast of "This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm On This Song" and "Sad Statue" straight on through to the New Wave inspired "Old School Hollywood," this album packs enough fist pumping adrenaline into a scant 38 minutes to last all year.
12. M83, Before The Dawn Heals Us
I'll be honest: At times, this can be a difficult fucking album to listen to, as it careens back and forth from seemingly drug induced upbeat ecstasy with bizarre, screeching horror. Splice in odd vocal samples and beats that stop and start seemingly on a whim, and you've got quite a bizarre little disc on your hands. Clearly, Frenchman Anthony Gonzalez was intending to craft something epic, something memorable here-- and by and large, he succeeds. While nothing here matches the beauty of Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts' "Run Into Flowers," the thunderous, haunting "Don't Save Us From The Flames" is worth the price of admission alone.
11. M.I.A., Arular
The blogosphere giveth, and the blogosphere taketh away. At the start of the year, you couldn't find a blogger worth his/her salt who didn't have at least something to say about the latest product of the hype machine/cause celebre, M.I.A., largely on the back of her Piracy Funds Terrorism mixtape with Diplo, her convuluted life story (Sri Lankan by way of London) and her confusing politics. And if this were March, I'd no doubt have this album a hell of a lot higher than I do. But as with anything that gets too hyped, the inevitable backlash has arisen. And while there are enough interesting sonic moments on this album to warrant inclusion on this list-- primarily "Pull Up The People," "Amazon," and "Sunshowers"-- it is not the classic many predicted. Nevertheless, it is an interesting part of the 2005 musical landscape, not only because it points towards new sonic directions, but also because it illuminates the shift in how music is marketed and sold-- the rapid shift away from long held vehicles such as commercial radio and MTV towards more de-centralized things such as mp3 blogs and message boards. It still trips me out whenever I see/hear "Galang" in a commercial for Honda.

Because this post has become tremendously huge, I'm gonna hit you with the second half of this list tomorrow.
Always leave 'em wanting more....