Haha, Who They Think They Carjacking?

Yeah, we all heard about the man, the myth, the legend Killa Cam getting shot in DC late Sunday night.

But you wanna know why Cam'ron is not only my favorite rapper working the mic right now, but the leader of a movement which is making 50 Cent and G-Unit look like a bunch of masquerading amateurs?

Immediately upon he release from the hospital, he reminds everyone that he's "hardcore Randy Savage, Bob Backlin" by issuing declarations like "People are foolish if they think I'm going to lose my head and give up anything to anyone just because someone threatens me. I'm doing OK. It takes more than a botched carjacking to keep me down.” All those chains you saw him rocking in the Jeezy "Soul Survivor" video? That fly new blue Lamborghini he's rockin'? Ya can't get it from Cam.

But then, what does he do? He heads straight to the studio and cooks up the remix to the street anthem of the year, "Get 'Em Daddy," to make the point abundantly clear.

Cam'ron feat. Hell Rell, Jim Jones, and J.R. Writer - Get 'Em Daddy (Remix)

(Yo, where's Juelz?)

Tom Breihan had a really interesting take on the shooting and Cam's image that's worth perusing.

Get 'em daddy.... daddy got 'em.

P.S. Perhaps if Cam had one of these fools would be less inclined to roll up on the Lambo...

We're Off to See the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of...

This morning my father (the recently reborn member of the Temple of the Red Sox) sent out an email to some people in his office (notable Yankee fans, mostly) and myself, mentioning that the Astros surely are toast because no one comes back from a 3-0 deficit, right? Here's what I wrote back:

If you listen carefully, you can just make out the strains of a conference call going on in the visiting managers office at Minute Maid Park (roof open).... shhhhh, lets listen in:

Ozzie Guillen: What's up, my papis!
Mariano Riviera: Hola!
Alex Rodriguez: What's really good, Wizard of Oz?
Ozzie: Nuttin' man, just tryin' to get this thing wrapped up. I got a question for y'all...
Mariano and Alex: (simultaneously, nervously)... Uhh, what's that...
Ozzie: I was just wonderin', ya know, what it was that you guys did pre-Game 4 of the ALCS last year, so I can tell my guys.
Mariano: I took a nap, listened to some reggaeton...
Alex: Word, I shot the fakest Pepsi commerical ever*, had some dinner, gave some of my fans the finger ... ya know, the usual.
Ozzie: Thanks, mi brothas! Now I know what to tell my guys NOT to do this afternoon. A-Rod, I'll hit you up this offseason in Miami. If I'm nice, I'll even let you kiss my ring!

The moral of the story: 26 rings are nice, except when you've accidentally swallowed them, they're sliding down your esphogaus, and you wrap your hands around your throat in a retarted attempt to give yourself the heimleich, if ya feel me.

*Cuz we know A-Rod ain't hitting any big game homers. And he sure as Hell ain't blowin' up the moon. Come to think of it, neither is Vlad...

Thought that was funny and some might get a kick out of that, so I figured I'd post it here.

And since we're here, can we please quiet all this "This World Series might be the most competitive World Series in recent memory" talk, please? OK, if you wanna tell me that it might be the most competitive (potential) four game sweep ever (which is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it?), I might by that. But unless four years doesn't fall under the definition of "recent memory," this doesn't fit the bill. The 2001 World Series, for example, was far more tense and competitive (the incendiary pitching of Byung Hyung Kim, the air of invincibility surrounding Mariana Rivera getting punctured for the first time, the beginning of the end of the Yankee dynasty), as was 2002 (Bonds' putting to bed the rumors that he's not a big game player-- listening A-Rod?-- with mammoth homeruns off of Percival and the unhittable K-Rod, the Angels storming back to Rally Monkey their way to the title). This one's been interesting, and it has been competitive to a point I suppose, but it hasn't necessarily been interesting, either.

And yo, the pumpkin thing was mostly a joke. Everyone calm down, I was just thinking out loud and trying to make a joke and reminisce about my childhood, not make a giant sociologial statement here. Ease up, kids.

Roll With The Winners

Ok, so I know that lots of heads already written about it , but as a new found resident of Virginia I feel the need to throw some props to the only in state crew causing more destruction than the Virginia Tech Hokies right now-- Pusha, Malice (a/k/a/ VA's own Clipse), Ab-Liva, and Sandman (comin' from Philly). Collectively, they go by the name of The Re-Up Gang, and they've produced a masterpiece in We Got It 4 Cheap, Vol. 2. I've heard them described as "coke dealer rap." which is an apt yet somewhat odd sounding description, but every track on this thing is a certified banger. And the beats they jump on.... my lord. Seriously: Best. Mixtape. Of. The. Year.

--And hey, maybe I'm not such an idiot after all:

However, if A-Rod truly is the AL MVP (and I don’t think he is, as you’ll see tomorrow), he’s got to step up and put a big time stamp on this series. If he doesn’t, it’ll only give more credence to those who say he puts up MVP numbers in blowouts and under no pressure, but when wilts when you need the big hit.

Bet that MVP trophy that may be coming to A-Rod next month looks real, real hollow to Yankee fans right about now, huh? And hey, I'm not the only one who hates the Yankees. See, there are somewhat sound, thought out reasons for hating the Yankees ($2.2 million per win!) other than pure jealousy (And no, Dr. Alterman and I are not just bitter Mets fans. Dirty liberals? Sure. But "haters"? Nah...).

-- I know that the topic of the Angels being exhausted and having to travel has been beaten to death in the media, but I can't believe the Angels are even in the ball game tonight (as I type this, they lead 3-2 after eight). Pitching staff shot to shit, three cities (three time zones!) in three days, going up against the rested and ready White Sox (who I must admit I sincerely underrated coming in to this thing-- sorry, Ozzie Guillen)... I was fully expecting Chicago to cruise and win something like 7-0 tonight. Should be a good series...

-- And finally, a little while ago, upon the entrance to the grocery store, I saw one of the most bizarre things I'd ever seen: A pre-painted Halloween pumpkin. Wow... maybe I'm reading too much into this, but doesn't that say something about American culture and lifestyle, circa 2005?

Some of my favorite Halloween memories are not running around the neighborhood feisting on free candy (although that was good too), but rather painting the pumpkin or carving a Jack O' Lantern with my family. I also got a kick out of trying to slice the most bizarre, misguided expressions on to my pumpkin, and delighted in seeing it illuminated on my front porch throughout Halloween evening (even though we usually only got about two Trick or Treaters, so it's not like many people were gonna see it). Have we really reached the point-- have we become this lazy?-- that we can't even be bothered to paint or carve our own damn pumpkins? And people wonder why American culture is hated and mocked, or that we're thought of as weak and fat? I mean, that's just pathetic.

Quick Thought

Just a quick little question/observation: Is it weird that I've spent more time watching to see what Mr. Chad "Who's Covering 85 in '05?" Johnson will do than I have the Yankees?

I mean, this is me, Mr. "Hardcore Baseball Junkie Since '88," on a day when the freaking Yankees could possibly get eliminated, and I just don't have much enthusiasm for it. Maybe the fact that the Braves-Astros game went so damn long (to the point where my friend Beth and I were making jokes about the game whimpering on the floor, begging for someone to shoot it in the head) probably has something to do with it.

But I'm also sure that Chad Johnson is my favorite player in the NFL, period bottomline. I think I'm gonna have to go out and buy me a 85 jersey one of these days (and it'd probably be a better investment than that Beltran authentic I copped this winter)...

And The Envelopes Please....

So yesterday, I made my predictions for the baseball postseason. How about we hand out some awards, shall we?

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

National League: Ryan Howard, 1B, Phillies
Jeff Francoeur is a nice little player, and he certainly played a major part in helping the Braves win their 14th straight division title, both with his timely hitting and outfield arm. However, Howards’ numbers-- .286, 22 HR, 62 RBI, .921 OPS in only 308 at-bats—are simply monsterous. When Jim Thome was lost for the season, Philly just plugged in the 25 year old and got basically the same amount of production. The Phils once again fell short of the playoffs, but it wasn’t the big guy’s fault.

(As an aside: Rumors have already begun popping up, speculating on where the Phillies will trade Thome, with the Rangers, Red Sox, and Angels rumored to be among the likely suitors. Depending on the price tag, if I’m Omar Minaya, I would at least explore what it would take—both financially and player wise—to acquire him.)

American Leauge: Huston Street, RP, Athletics
Hey, if you wanna go with Robinson Cano, I’ve got no beef with you. He’s certainly got the numbers-- .295, 14 HR, 62 RBI’s—not to mention a large collection of clutch hits and steady defense. However, it’s hard to find a closer of any age that was as reliable as Street, not to mention the collection of numbers he brings to the table—5-1, 1.72 ERA, 23 saves in 27 chances, nearly a strikeout an inning. Effortlessly handling the pressure of closing major league games at age 22, just a year removed from the College World Series at Texas, Street showed incredible poise and looks like an anchor of the rapidly reloading Oakland machine for years to come.

CY YOUNG

National League: Roger Clemens, Astros
Yeah, he’s a mercenary, and a jerk to boot. But you can’t front on the sickening numbers he put up this year, especially at age 43. You can’t argue with a 1.87 ERA, and if the Astros had scored any runs for him this year, he would have had more than his 13 wins and there’d be no debate whatsoever. Props to D-Train and Carpenter for great seasons, but Clemens takes home his staggering 8th Cy Young.

American League: Johan Santana, Twins
He probably won’t win it—it’ll probably go to Bartolo Colon in a year which lacks a clear cut favorite based on his 21 W’s and the ace of the West winning Angels—but Johan is far and away the best pitcher in the American League. Any worry that his jaw-dropping 2004 Cy season was a fluke were assuaged (not that there were many to begin with) with a stellar 16-7, 2.87 ERA, 9.2 K/9 season. Only 26, Santana appears poised for a long reign atop mounds all across the American League.

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER

National League: Albert Pujols, 1B, Cardinals
With Barry Bonds out the whole year, the path has been cleared for Albert the Great to finally win a much deserved MVP. While Andruw Jones’ 50 homers certainly played a huge role in powering the Braves towards the postseason once again, Pujols simply did what he always does—mash. Sure, the Cardinals are a great all around ball club and have been good for quite a while, but that should not obscure in the slightest the contributions of one of the five best players in the game. If he doesn’t finally win an MVP soon, the fact alone will dishonor the award itself, in much the same way that Martin Scorsese’s lack of an Oscar doesn’t bestow much credit on the Academy.

American League: David Ortiz, DH, Red Sox
Sure, give it to A-Rod, solely for the fact that he plays in the field (and admittedly plays a pretty fine third) and Ortiz DH’s. However, I’m a National League fan who abhors the very concept of the DH, so it takes a lot for me to give the nod to one in Ortiz. However, every since Game 4 of last year’s ALCS, Big Papi has just been an absolute beast, amassing an ungodly amount of clutch hits. Ortiz followed the same recipe that won Vladimir Guerrero, Miguel Tejada, and Jason Giambi MVP awards before him— namely, put your team on your back for the month of September and carry them, kicking and screaming, into the postseason.

Today, Bill Simmons wrote this about A-Rod during Saturday's AL East clinching win for the Yanks:

"An MVP performance from A-Rod, who waited until the Yanks were up 6-2 before he ripped a long home run, then followed that up with two more big hits. The weird thing about A-Rod is that there's nobody more terrifying in a big game ... when you're down by 4 runs. There really isn't. It's like he goes to another level."

See, that’s the thing about A-Rod—he seems to do the most damage when the game is already decided one way or the other for the Yankees. And while he wasn’t nearly as bad in the clutch as he has been in the past, he wasn’t Ortiz, who was downright Bondsian coming down the stretch. Basically, without A-Rod, I figure the Yanks still find a way to make the playoffs. Without Ortiz, who was strictly there’s no way in Hell the Sox make the playoffs. I seriously don’t understand why anyone pitched to him these last 3-4 weeks.

Here's Where The Fun Begins...

Uhm, does anyone else find it weird that FOX is using the Smashing Pumpkins as background music on the incessant commercials for the playoffs?

Anywho, what is quite possibly my favorite time of the year begins tomorrow at 1, with the Padres and Cardinals squaring off as the curtain opens on the playoffs once again. The last time I tried to make predictions about the baseball playoffs was my junior year of college, and I think I made every single prediction wrong.

Then again, no one saw that one. I intended to send it out as an email, and just as I hit send, my computer crapped out on me (I’ve learned my lesson this time: I’m writing it in Word first).

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Honestly, I have trouble deciding on who I like in either of the initial series in the AL. With serious questions about both the Yankees and the Red Sox, the two presumed goliaths of the division, I could see any of the four teams advancing. At the end, we should see a third Red Sox-Yankees blood feud, at least on paper. I’m picking both series’ to go five, because I can see either team winning in both cases.

Red Sox-White Sox: My father and grandfather, both devout acolytes of the cult which is Red Sox Nation are on pins and needles, if my father’s increasingly frenzied emails over the past week are any indication (love you Pops!). And they should be. The Red Sox starters are shaky and inconsistent, and the bullpen—Mike Timlin closing!?—has got to keep fans all across New England waking up in cold sweats. Can the Red Sox score 8 runs a game in October? They may have to, just to have a shot.

The trouble is, I have trouble picking the White Sox either. Any team that nearly coughs up a fifteen game lead in August scares the living hell out of me. No one on their offense really puts the fear of God in the opposing pitcher, with the possible exception of Konerko. It remains to be seen whether the White Sox can play their brand of small ball effectively in the tight games of the playoffs, and while the pitching is solid throughout, they lack a true imposing ace (Note: I realize so does Boston. But Chicago also doesn’t have Ortiz and Ramirez, either).

Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge admirer of the Oakland A’s and a card carrying member of the Billy Beane fan club. Yet, this White Sox team looks a lot to me like the A’s teams that showed so much promise, only to flame out in the first round year after year. In the end, I’m going with the experience and the entire Red Sox organization and the incredible combination of clutch and cluelessness that is Big Papi and Manny.

The pick: Boston in Five.

Yankees-Angels: Most Yankee fans will tell you that the Angels are the last team they wanted to play in the first round, because they always play them tough (and remember, it was the Angels who Rally Monkeyed the Yanks in 2002). It’s why the Yankees were so pissed at Buck Showalter Sunday, because the last thing they wanted to do was concede homefield advantage.

Even with Randy Johnson rounding into form as the menacing October ace George Steinbrenner envisioned when he acquired him, the Yankees pitching is loaded with question marks—Can you really trust Shawn Chacon in the playoffs? What’s up with Mike Mussina? Much like the Red Sox, it may take a nightly fireworks display for the Bombers to move on, especially against a deep Angel bullpen.

It is the Angels offense that may wind up doing them in, because Vlad The Impaler can only carry them so far. Steve Finley has been a huge disappointment, and Halos desperately need Garrett Anderson to rediscover his 2002 form. If Chone Figgins has a big series and Vlad gets a little magic (and some pitches to hit), the Angels could win this thing.

Nevertheless, I think Randy Johnson combined with the impressive Yankee offense gets them to three victories. If this was a seven game series, I might think differently. However, if A-Rod truly is the AL MVP (and I don’t think he is, as you’ll see tomorrow), he’s got to step up and put a big time stamp on this series. If he doesn’t, it’ll only give more credence to those who say he puts up MVP numbers in blowouts and under no pressure, but when wilts when you need the big hit.

The pick: Yankees in Five.

AL CHAMPION: Yankees in Six As much as it pains me to say, I think this is where the Red Sox pitching gets exploited, unless Curt Schilling can channel the Schilling of October past (or maybe just a bloody sock).

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Unlike the AL, I see the NL much more clearly. Of course, that probably means that we’ll be seeing the Padres and Braves in a rematch of the 1998 NLCS…

Padres-Cardinals Are you serious? I know that a team can get hot for a stretch and that anything can happen in the playoffs. Jake Peavy is a certified number one starter for San Diego, and likely NL Cy Young winner Chris Carpenter appeared to be tiring as the season wound down. Doesn’t matter.

There’s a reason the Padres finished barely over .500 and the Cardinals were the best team in the National League. Pujols goes off, and the Padres will be lucky if the Padres even win tomorrow with Peavy going.

The pick: St. Louis in Four.

Houston-Atlanta: Well, you’ve got the team that won its first postseason series last season versus the team that held the patent for postseason choking, until the Yankees came along and made them look like cheap generic ripoffs last year. Bobby Cox’s boys have had a nice little run, plugging in rookies to great effectiveness and riding the long promised breakout season of Andruw Jones. And the addition of Hudson gives them an imposing 1-2 punch in the starting rotation.

Except that Houston goes them one better, trotting out the three-headed monster of Clemens-Oswalt-Petitite. Last year, the ‘Stros took out the Braves. I don’t see this year being any different. Let’s hope the Ted is actually sold out for these games…

The pick: Houston in Five.

NL CHAMPION: Houston in Six. The Astros came dangerously close to toppling the Cardinals last year. Sure, they lost Beltran, but they’ve got a healthy Andy Petitite, not to mention a better bullpen infront of The Terminator, Brad Lidge. I say this is the year the Astros storm the castle and finally make it to the World Series…

WORLD CHAMPION: Houston Astros in Six… and go ahead and win it to boot. Picture this: Pitching at familiar Yankee Stadium, Andy Petitite twirls a gem as the Astros clinch. While watching Petitite, Clemens, and Astros celebrate on the Yankee Stadium field, George Steinbrenner begins laying waste to his luxury box, where his head literally explodes in a modern mystery of science.