The Return of the Felons

Well, well, well.... it's good to see that tradition still means something to some people. Florida State Felons, indeed.

And all that stuff I've been saying the last few days to various people, trying to convince myself that this won't be an absolute Penn State riot? That, as the ACC Title game proved, when it wants to the 'Noles can still play a nasty game and be a bear for any opponent? That Penn State might be the beneficiary of just a tad bit of extra hype, due to cuddly ol' Joe Pa and the fact that they miraculously rose from the ashes after two crappy seasons? That this game will at least be close and somewhat contested?

Yeah, eff all that. I'm getting flashbacks to the 2003 Sugar Bowl. I hope I'm wrong-- after all, at least Chris Rix isn't around to sleep through any finals, so we got that goin' for us, which is nice....

Welcome To New York City

If you wanna talk about the merits of the Johnny Damon to the Yankees signing, Simmons and Ian pretty much got it on lock.

No, what I'm more concerned about is the "new look" Johnny Damon, displayed in this photo and splashed across the back pages of the tabloids (back in the rotten apple for two days, holla!) today.

Seriously, dude looks like the guys I used to see when I had the misfortune of hanging around sketchy clubs like Exit and Sound Factory. You know the type-- the guido dude in the two sizes too small t-shirt, who's come back from the tanning salon, all 'roided up and oiled down. The dude that spends half his time staring at your girlfriend, and the other half dispensing with witticisms like " 'Ey, you! Yeah, you! C'mere!" to every passing female he lays his eyes on, hoping to catch the eye of some naive Long Island girl who's had one too many Apple martinis, to which he will soon roofie and defoul in some broom closet in the back of the club. Don't front, you know exactly the kind of dude I'm talking about. These guys exist outside of Manhattan, right?

And now that I think about it... given Damon's shall we say checkered history with the females (read his "autobiography"), that might not be too far from the truth. You know all those stories about Damon not fitting in to New York?

Hogwash. I think dude's gonna fit in just fine.

All Hail The Conquering Heroes

And here, the suspense shall kill you no longer, we press on!

10. The New Pornographers, Twin Cinema
Man, there are hooks and melodies on this album for days and numerous moments of joy to be discovered on this, the Vancouver collective's third album. I'm not gonna sit here and try and compare Twin Cinema with any of their earlier records, because I haven't heard them, but based on the strength of this album, I most likely will be tracking them down in the not too distant future. I dig the jangly pop of "Twin Cinema," the emotion laden "The Bleeding Heart Show," and the back to back rockers of "Jessica, Dressed In Cobras" and "The Jessica Numbers"-- hell, I dig it all. Like alot of the albums on this list, this is a record I wouldn't have gone anywhere near two or three years ago and would have simply rejected out of hand--this year, it sits at #10 on my best of list. Does this mean that I'm simply getting old and mellowing out, or rather that my musical tastes are maturing (admittedly, it's not that hard to mature away from Pantera and Slayer-- there's really nowhere else to go but up, short of descending into death metal. But I digress....)?
9. New Order, Waiting For The Sirens Call
You can count the number of bands that have had the kind of long lasting impact that New Order have on one hand. I mean, think about it-- Movement was birthed into the world in 1981 (coincidentally, the same year as yours truly), and here they are, twenty-four years later, still putting out quality product (whether I'm doing the same is debateable). I know alot of old school New Order fans hated 2001's Get Ready, but it was my first real introduction to New Order (short of being the reference to "Hey, they're that band... the band that that awful Orgy band covered, right?"), and I loved it. Siren's Call is more of the same-- every song on the album bumps in that perfect marriage of driving rock merged with twisting electronica that New Order have done so well, even before the assinine term "electronica" ever existed. If you just excuse the awful title, "Guilt Is A Useless Emotion" is probably one of my favorite songs of the year (and probably should have found a spot somewhere on my 2005 mixtape). But like I said, the whole album bumps, and any band that has been around for longer than I've been alive (when you throw in the fact that New Order arouse out of the ashes of Joy Division) and still makes interesting, relevant music gets serious props in my book.
8. Ladytron, The Witching Hour
New Order provides an apt segue for Ladytron, because at least indirectly this band had to have been influenced by them, judging from the way they merge electronica with rock elements. But whereas New Order often times lean more on rock guitars, Ladytron lean far more to the electronic elements of the mix, and whereas New Order make light, airy, and upbeat songs, 'Tron gravitate towards a darker, brooding sort of sonic hodgepodge. I've already sung the praises of "Destroy Everything You Touch," but the haunting "Beauty #2" also got a lot of burn as well. This album may take a few spins to sink in, but if you give it a chance, it will reward you in spades.
7. Sufjan Stevens, Illinois
Everyone and their mom is throwing Sufjan props, and with good reason. Anyone who has enough ambition (audacity?) to declare that they are gonna write a concept album about all 50 states obviously has some major cajones. Anyone who turns in an album as ambitious as this one... well, they've got some serious talent to burn. Throw in the fact that Sufjan is able to write beautiful, dazzling songs about such horrific subjects as infamous serial killer John Wayne Gacy...well, that's quite an achievement, my friend. Hell, even NPR jumped on the bandwagon earlier this year-- and you know what that means kids! That's right, all you hipsters, this Christmas, you AND your parents can BOTH rock out to Illinois !
6. Slug and Murs, Felt 2: A Tribute to Lisa Bonet / Atmosphere, You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having
Anyone that knows me (or has spent some time reading this blog) knows how much I dig Slug and Atmosphere. In a pinch, I'd probably throw God Loves Ugly up on my list of Top 25 Hip Hop albums, if that's any indication. Atmosphere's charm is a two-pronged attack: first, you've got the consistently boomin' production from Ant (who, for example, was doing the whole chop up and slow down old soul records thing that Kanye has turned into multi millions back when young 'Ye was still trying to dress like Ma$e and "couldn't even afford a 4-track recorder"), joined together with the verbal gymnastics of one Sean Daley, a/k/a/ Slug. What I've always loved about Slug is that he comes off as a far less insane and far nerdier version of Eminem (and one who has yet to completely fall the fuck off)-- a battle MC who could lyrically sever your head with punchline after punchline, while at the same time possessing the ability to turn around and spin a dense, emotion packed story on the very next track. And this year, instead of giving each side of his personality equal play on one LP, he dropped two-- he brought Living Legend Murs along for the battle MC'ing and witty wordplay of Felt 2, and then followed that up with the emotional bombast of Fun (and even debuted a much talked about mohawk!). One gives you heat rocks like "Gangster Ass Anthony," the other drops the ponderous thoughts of "Little Man" and the horrific story of "That Night"-- and they're both dope as fuck.
5. Sleater-Kinney, The Woods
Ya know, back when I was in high school, I went through this phase for about a year when I thought that Sleater-Kinney were just about the best band I'd ever heard. The grooves and melodies that these three lovely ladies from the Pacific Northwest concocted just sounded right to me-- perhaps it had something to do with the fact that all of my friends were into pop punk bands like Pennywise and NOFX, and I thought I'd discovered the next level-- the more intellectual, the more respectable-- of punk rock. I don't know, but as I went off to college, my interest in SK gradually waned. And then I heard the thunderous, classic rock influenced grooves of The Woods... and oh man, I feel in love with Sleater-Kinney all over again. Simply put: A damn fine, down and dirty rock record.
4. Broken Social Scene, Broken Social Scene
Much like the New Pornographers, I hadn't listened to this band until this year, but man, am I happy that I did. There are few bands that I've heard that are this inventive, this bizarre, and hell, this compelling. They rock, they groove, they do it all-- again, this is yet another album that rewards repeat listens, so as to discover the nuances found in songs such as "Hotel," which has a beat which faintly reminds me of the most bizarre remix of Usher (the title of the song escapes me right now, because Usher fucking sucks) I've ever heard. And you can't help but laugh at some of the song titles-- I fucking dare you to put "Handjobs for the Holidays" on an Xmas mix CD.
3. Rogue Wave, Descended Like Vultures
This is what indie rock should sound like, to my ears: Soaring guitar, heartfelt lyrics wrapped up in deft melodies and memorable hooks, and a groove that won't quit. I couldn't stop playing the epic "Publish My Love" (yet another crap title from the New Order school of songwriting, but we'll forgive that), rocking "Love's Lost Guarantee" (Uhm, do I see a lyrical theme developing here?), or the insanely, memorably catchy "You." Hell, I couldn't get enough of the whole damn album, period (obviously, or it wouldn't be #3, now would it?).
2. Cat Power, The Greatest
Were I Pitchfork, I'd happily throw 2004's best album (Purple Haze) here and not think twice about it. However, I recognize that, even though it came out in December, it was still December, 2004.... so I went and grabbed an album that doesn't even drop until January, 2006! But hell, since the promos have been floating around since before Thanksgiving (and I've been bumping it constantly since then), not to mention the fact that this album is too good to be denied, I had to put it up here. This enthralling mix of old soul, funk, and blues just cannot be denied-- I've offered to burn copies for everyone from indie rock heads to friends who pretty much only listen to Jack Johnson and Ben Harper exclusively to even my dad, who gets his freak on to classical and the odd day long wade into country radio (like the Clipse would say, "Echk!") when he's feeling frisky-- this album is just that versatile. Hell, I might even have to throw it on next year's list too, for good measure-- this is the album that Fiona Apple should have made.
1. Bloc Party, Silent Alarm
Seriously, I think I've probably said all I need to say about this album and this band already.

However, I will just say that, after the atrocity that was the DFA 1979 remix album, Romance, Bloody Romance (4 seperate remixes of "Romantic Nights" and "Black History Month" each? I mean, what the fuck? Sure, the Dahlback remix of "Romantic Nights" bangs, in the words of old school Mobb Deep, like "100 and 0," but did we really need three more? Nevermind...), I'd say that Silent Alarm Remixed looks damn good in comparison, wouldn't you agree? I sincerely believe that it does a wonderful job of recontextualizing and adding a fresh spin on what was already a truly fantastic stand alone album.

Anywho, I pretty much knew back in March that Silent Alarm was gonna wind up my favorite album of 2005, and nothing came even remotely close to unseating it the rest of the year. I can only hope that they improve on it with the follow up, and that the dreaded second album curse doesn't strike down a tremendous band who sounds as if they are only starting to hit their stride.

I'd love to hear your comments on the whole list, and enjoy the holidays y'all.

What You've All Been Waiting For....

OK, so today brings us to what you've all been waiting with bated breath for, and probably the reason why I do this blog in the first place: the unveiling of my Top 20 albums of the Year list (and to think, back when I wrote for The Collegian all I did was a Top 10.... such a slacker was I in college). But first, I've gotta get a few things off of my chest...

-- If you at all care about The Chapelle Show and are somewhat curious/pissed off about the disappearance of Season 3, you must read this (hat tip to Joey for first pointing me in this direction). Now, I'm not saying that I necessarily believe it... in fact, it strikes me as something akin to a far fetched conspiracy theory, but it is interesting to think about/discuss. I read this off and on for most of the afternoon yesterday at work, and drove home all fired up to write about this and take shots at Farrakhan, Cosby, Oprah, Sharpton, et al. but I seriously questioned how much worth was really in it, given that there are a lot of things that are head scratching, at best. Like I said, it's something akin to a crackpot conspiracy theory, but it's at least an interesting thing to discuss over a few beers.

-- If you all have not been checkin' for what my man Douglas has been puttin' down, y'all have been missing out. First, last week he dropped this little fun game on all y'all:

"and here's a thing to do, it sorta worked me for yesterday. first, get a copy of the economist or print an article from their website and take along with you when you're going to go some thing or place that'll be boring, like real boring. and just play the game, is what i'm doing or the presentation i'm listening is it more boring than reading about european farming tariffs. if what you're doing is boring enough that ou decide to spice it up with an article about euros and the eating habbits of french people, then you've reached rock bottom, like heroin addiction rock bottom, like crack cocaine bottom. "

(And yeah, I think that's funny in part because my roommate subscribes to The Economist and treats it as near Gospel, whereas most of the time I glance at the cover when it's sitting on our dining room table and think something along the lines of "Remind me why I give a fuck?" Maybe, as much as I'd like to think so, I'm just not highbrow enough.)

Then, yesterday, he dropped this lil' gem: "the legal system works, if you're some goofy guy wearing a bloc party t-shirt to court, if you're dressed nicely, then you're shit out of luck." I find this absolutely hiliarious, seeing as how pretty much every job I've ever had has been in the legal field, and my entire family is lawyers. And that's a pretty fucking funny comment on our legal system (especially one in which John Roberts and Alberto Gonzalez rule the roost), circa 2005.

Basically, if you're not checking Doug's site on a daily basis, I don't know what to tell you at this point. It's fucking hot fire.

Anywho, enough with the dicklicking and butt kissing, let's get on to why you are really here. Originally, I was gonna try and post a lil' introduction piece about some nonsense like "The Top5 Lyrical Moments of 2005," but I realized that was a far too hokey way to simply shout out lyrics I found witty (read: turned into AIM away messages) and posit how Cam's line on Juelz's "Murda Murda" ("Get it together now, now you my papes right/ Come thru late night, I know what it taste like/ Some good coke dog, go get your face piped/ Put on my Laker jersey and then go rape white (No. 8)") might be the most offensive and savage diss I've heard in a long while (and probably my favorite line of the year, KB8 being the star of my underachieving fantasy team notwithstanding). And I was gonna try and pontificate on how System's "Why don't you ask the kids at Tiannamen Square-- was fashion the reason why they were there?" line was a line that, in addition to being one of the few SOAD lyrics that makes any kind of sense, made me think far too much than it should and force me to go off into a half cocked quasi-intellectual ramble... but fuck all that.

So instead, let's talk about two or three notable omissions from this list and why they're not there, shall we?

Kanye West, Late Registration
Ok, I realize that Kanye made one of the better hip hop debuts in a while with Dropout (even though I wasn't on his dick nearly as hard as some that I know, even then), and I give him his props for putting W on blast with that whole "George Bush doesn't care about black people" deal... but c'mon. I'll be the first to admit that when I first heard the thunderous beats of "Diamonds," I allowed my hype to pretty much pencil in Registration into my Top 10 list....but c'mon, this is a classic album? Really? Give me "Touch The Sky" (will Lupe Fiasco blow up next year?), "Drive Slow," "Diamonds," and "Gone," and then you can pretty much keep the rest. That's a classic maxi-single, dogs, not a classic album. If anything, this was the biggest disappointment of '05, not one of it's crowning achievements.

Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Much like Kanye, lots of heads are championing this album. I guess part of it has to do with the whole "Free Fiona, Sony fucked her!"/"Oh wait, no they didn't..." controversy, and the switching from Jon Brion to Mike Elizondo as producers (people seem to love the Brion version), but I don't really see it. When I think of Fiona Apple, I don't think of the scarily seemingly anorexic chanteuse prancing around in the "Criminal" video, but I do think of the scarily seemingly anorexic chanteuse who concocted heartbreakingly emotional tour de forces such as "Shadowboxer" and "Never Is A Promise," seemingly on a whim. And that kind of emotion, that degree of passion, seems to be lacking from Extraordinary Machine, despite all it's hype to the contrary (for that, go listen to Cat Power). I agree with Ian on this one.

Common, Be
Much like Kanye, I think people over hyped this album, seemingly simply because it wasn't the usual G-Unit party-bitches-guns-coke rap album. And believe me, I'm more than happy that Common got his head out of Erykah Badu's genitalia and returned from planet hippie to make actual hip hop music, but please, let's not go overboard here. Sure, "The Corner" was a blistering single and certainly a welcome return to the fold (after the Jigga shout and the guest verse on "Get 'Em High," even if he seems to completely disregard the beat), and even as someone who adores Cam'ron and the Clipse I can appreciate the consciousness that artists like Common bring to the table, but it's not like dude went and re-made Resurrection here. This was one of those albums where I played it a few times when it first dropped, noted it's merits, didn't play it again, then sat around sort of stunned when everyone and there mom started waving the Common banner loud and proud.

Anywho, before we begin to dissect the records that actually, ya know, made it onto my Top 20, I'd just like to make a note here: This was the first year where I actually kept a word document on my computer all year, where I'd constantly jot down albums that I thought might actually be worthy of "Best Of" status. So, the likelihood that I missed something (in my own opinion, anyway), is lessened. Unfortunately, I picked a year which lacked a ton of truly compelling, knock you on your ass records, so that after #1 or 2, there's alot of solid, good records, rather than great ones. As such, the order of this list could probably easily be switched around, and I could probably switch a couple of records on the back end with records that didn't make it, and it wouldn't change much in my opinion. Just needed to get that out of there. Enough blather, here's the list (finally).

20. The Game, The Documentary
While this was a solid record which basically resuciated West Coast hip hop as a viable commercial vehicle and packed some absolutely titanic beats ("Westside Story," "Higher," "Put You On The Game"), this record deserves its place almost as much for what it represents as for what it does musically. Namely, this is the record that signals the end of the G-Unit onslaught which overran hip hop music for the past two years. In a year which saw G-Unit fail amazingly, both in your stereo (The Massacre, Thoughts of A Predicate Felon) and in your local cinema (Get Rich or Die Tryin'), is it any wonder that the one dude who put out a worthwhile record got kicked out of the camp (subsequently revealing to the world just what a petulant bitch 50 is in the process)?
19. Dangerdoom, The Mask & The Mask
It's amazing what can happen when you combine ace head nodding production (Dangermouse) with dense, creative rhymes from one of the undergrounds favorite sons (M.F Doom). Throw in an assist from Adult Swim, and you've got a compelling, intensely enjoyable album. Forget 50, how about the story of Dangermouse as a movie? Little known hip hop beat digging nerd spends days and nights in his bedroom crafting a surprisingly inventive mashup of Jay-Z and the Beatles, said album gets downloaded by seemingly the entire globe, then dude parlays subsequent notoriety into high profile production gigs for M.F. Doom, Gorillaz, and soon to come, Gnarls Barkley. Rabid success ensues and money ensues, no one gets shot. On second thought.... that's probably a pretty boring movie. But this album bumps, and is anything but boring.
18. Royksopp, The Understanding
I'm probably the only blogger that has this album anywhere near his Top 20 list, but whatever... that's why I'm me, and you're you. Nevertheless, I dig this album, from the chilled, understated opener of "Triumphant" (odd, in that you would expect a track with the name of "Triumphant" to be a bold, balls to the wall statement, from an album opener no less), flowing through the bouncy grooves of "Only This Moment" and "Follow My Ruin," to the bumping beat and catchy hook of "What Else Is There?" I'm unashamed to admit that I like techno (more than most, probably), but nevertheless, if you give it a chance, there are plenty of moments to savor on this album.
17. Maximo Park, A Certain Trigger
I like to think of them as the British equivalent to Interpol, and in a year in which Interpol didn't release an album, that's good enough to garner a spot on my list. Actually, these guys use catchy hooks and captivating guitars enough to distance them from the rest of the whole "Nu New Wave" movement which has spawned in the wake of the success of The Strokes, Interpol, Bloc Party, et al for my taste. They're equally adept at writing well crafted rockers ("Graffiti") as they are at writing haunting ballads ("Acrobat," championed on my 2005 Mixtape), all the while crafting more pop hooks than you can shake a stick at into each and every song. I still don't know how the hell they wound up on Warp, though.
16. Edan, Beauty & The Beat
For some reason, in some circles it has become cliche to hate on this album, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. Me, I dig the blend of turntable wizardry with old school inspired production and rhymes. Pulling samples from all over the place, Beauty & The Beat sounds exactly like a more mainstream DJ Shadow or a far nerdier (and less rock obsessed) Z-Trip would concoct, given the right mindstate.
15. Z-Trip, Shifting Gears
Speaking of Z-Trip..... if you've got friends that swear up and down that they don't like hip hop, this is the album to throw on the stereo when in their presence. This disc is jam packed with party rockin' beats and rhymes which are virtually guaranteed to get even the staunchiest wall flower tapping their feet and moving their ass. At the very least, they'll get a chuckle out of the cartoon inspired silliness that is "Breakfast Club." But that's not to say their aren't gems to be discovered in the album's latter half for those that have already been converted to hip hop (and at this point, who hasn't?), such as the surprisingly funky break up lament "Everything Changes," the thunderous Chuck D guest shot "Shock And Awe," and the DJ Shadow-lite workout found on "Revolution (STR Parts 1 + 2)." The only true misstep on this album is the Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) collabo, "Walking Dead," which sounds like a long lost Exciter-era Depeche Mode b-side (and not in a good way).
14. Ivy, In The Clear
The best pure pop album I heard all year. Each and every one of the 10 tracks featured on this album feature sugary hooks and gorgeous melodies, all perfectly executed and layered with icy cool female vocals. Your girlfriend would probably love this album, if only she knew who the fuck Ivy were.
13. System of a Down, Mesmerize
Although Hypnotize was something of a disappointment, that fact only stands to further enhance the value of this, the first slab of the double disc effort. Whether it's the breakneck riffing and off-kilter melodies of "B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Bombs)"-- one of the better singles of '05, certainly in the hard rock arena-- to the Slayer-on-steroids bombast of "This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm On This Song" and "Sad Statue" straight on through to the New Wave inspired "Old School Hollywood," this album packs enough fist pumping adrenaline into a scant 38 minutes to last all year.
12. M83, Before The Dawn Heals Us
I'll be honest: At times, this can be a difficult fucking album to listen to, as it careens back and forth from seemingly drug induced upbeat ecstasy with bizarre, screeching horror. Splice in odd vocal samples and beats that stop and start seemingly on a whim, and you've got quite a bizarre little disc on your hands. Clearly, Frenchman Anthony Gonzalez was intending to craft something epic, something memorable here-- and by and large, he succeeds. While nothing here matches the beauty of Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts' "Run Into Flowers," the thunderous, haunting "Don't Save Us From The Flames" is worth the price of admission alone.
11. M.I.A., Arular
The blogosphere giveth, and the blogosphere taketh away. At the start of the year, you couldn't find a blogger worth his/her salt who didn't have at least something to say about the latest product of the hype machine/cause celebre, M.I.A., largely on the back of her Piracy Funds Terrorism mixtape with Diplo, her convuluted life story (Sri Lankan by way of London) and her confusing politics. And if this were March, I'd no doubt have this album a hell of a lot higher than I do. But as with anything that gets too hyped, the inevitable backlash has arisen. And while there are enough interesting sonic moments on this album to warrant inclusion on this list-- primarily "Pull Up The People," "Amazon," and "Sunshowers"-- it is not the classic many predicted. Nevertheless, it is an interesting part of the 2005 musical landscape, not only because it points towards new sonic directions, but also because it illuminates the shift in how music is marketed and sold-- the rapid shift away from long held vehicles such as commercial radio and MTV towards more de-centralized things such as mp3 blogs and message boards. It still trips me out whenever I see/hear "Galang" in a commercial for Honda.

Because this post has become tremendously huge, I'm gonna hit you with the second half of this list tomorrow.
Always leave 'em wanting more....

The 2005 Award Show

Alrighty, I meant to do this last week, but a rough week at the old J-0-B forced me to turn what was originally planned as a one week music year in review extravaganza to two. Hell, you don't mind waiting, do you? Of course not. So now, we' re gonna get into some awards.

However, this is not your typical award post, like "Best Album," "Best Video," "Hottest Male/Female Rocker," and all that nonsense. Oh no.... this is quite another brand of nonsense, kids! My brand of nonsense! You'll soon see what I mean, so without further ado, let's get it into it!

The Kelly Clarkson "Since U Been Gone" Award
Given to the song that, even though you know it's tacky and you shouldn't listen to it, you can't get it out of your head. Some might refer to this as the "Guilty Pleasure."
And the winner is.... Rihanna, with "Pon De Replay."
Hell, I'll fuckin' admit it-- this was the jam of the summer, and even a jaded, cynical son of a bitch such as myself couldn't deny it. The first time I heard it, I thought to myself "Hey, that's kinda catchy." Soon, as I was driving miles and miles of highway on my frequent trips between DC and NYC, I was flipping through the radio dial, hopping to hear that bumping beat so I could do something resembling a dance that I'm sure caused any passing motorist who happened to glance at me to question whether I'd recently been released from a mental institution. Don't front-- you wanted to put your hands up to the ceiling and let the bass from the speakers run through your sneakers too.
Honorable mention(s): Ashlee Simpson, "Boyfriend," (much like "Since U Been Gone," a pop-rock song from some strumpet that really shoulda been a lot worse than it was-- heard it once, was in my head for a week); All-American Rejects, "Dirty Little Secret," (hey, it's catchy, and the video was kinda nifty-- even if they did bite this site. Hell, Tom Breihan picked it as his 15th best single of the year, so it can't be all bad, right? Right?
Never mind. Let's all forget I ever wrote this paragraph, ok? Moving on...

The "I Got Soul, But I'm Not A Soldier" Award
Named for my favorite line by The Killers, this award goes to the band that I think, given the right help, might just blow the fuck up a la The Killers in '06.
And the winner is.... We Are Scientists
I wrote about this band (and how I think they can blow up) last week with my 2005 Mixtape, and I really believe that these guys could be "The Next Big Thing." If rock radio wasn't busy killing itself off or switching formats to rap/salsa/talk, "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt" could become a monster single a la "Mr. Brightside," and "Textbook" and "Lousy Reputation" (trafficking in the topic of dating a known slut) have been getting some heavy rotation round my way lately.

The "I Don't Have to Sell Coke To Get Signed By Jay-Z? Really?" Award
The companion award to the "I Got Soul, But I'm Not A Soldier" award, given to the hip hopper that, if there's any justice in the world, will blow the fuck up in '06.
And the winner is.... Lady Sovereign
Much like We Are Scientists, I extolled the virtues of Lady Sov ("This is the new singalong, S-0-V!") last week with the mixtape, and I'm back to do it somemore. Sure, someone that raps "like a chipmunk on Robitusin" might not be the easiest sell on this side of the pond (hell, finding an audience for British MCs of any sound, size, or shape over here is hard-- see the examples of Roots Manuva and The Streets for two), but I'd imagine Jay-Z didn't sign her to lose money. And Jigga doesn't sign wack artists (Memphis Bleek excepted).

(And yes, the title of this award is a jab at Young Jeezy. He has to be the first rapper in history that gets more critical props for his ad-libs than for his actual lyrics. Way to go buddy-- you can chant "Yeeeah!" with authority. As a Clipse fan, I don't care that all your lyrics talk about pushing coke-- but at least make 'em witty, bro. I'm sorry, but I really don't get the whole Young Jeezy explosion that went on this year.)

The "This Should Be An Album" Award
Given to the best mixtape of the year, for even though it wasn't an official album, lord knows it should have been.
And the winner is.... (guess.... seriously... guess).... Clipse, We Got It 4 Cheap 2
I know. You're stunned. But seriously.... Pharrell needs to stop hanging with Gwen Stefani and do something to get these dudes on a real record label. Fuck Zomba is the mantra, indeed. No one hit harder, either on the mixtapes or on bonafide wax in '05 than the grand wizards of the almighty blizzard.
Honorable mention: The Diplomats, Memorial Day Mixtape

The "Are You Fucking Retarted?" Award
Kinda self explanatory here....
And the winner is... Tony Yayo, for his bizarre hands in front of the face wave thing he does in all his videos. Uhm.... T, are you fucking retarted? Snort too much of your namesake? Because seriously... what the fuck is that? And who told you that was a good look? You look like an epileptic on crack.

The "Ok, I Submit. You Win" Award
Given to a band that I had resisted for a long, long time, yet finally broke me down in '05.
And the winner is.... Franz Ferdinand.
For a long time, I hated Franz Ferdinand. I thought they were dumb, pretentious assholes. I couldn't get what everyone seemed to see in them-- I've had numerous people try and sing me the praises of Franz Ferdinand over the last couple of years, and I wasn't trying to hear it. That is, until they dropped "Do You Want To," a warm and fuzzy nugget of power-pop rock goodness, and I was forced to submit. I haven't heard anything else from the album, and frankly, I don't care to. All I need is this one song, hokey 19 second intro and all, and that's enough Franzia for me. But you win, Franz Ferdinand, ok? I no longer wish a bullet to pass through the back of your heads, in the vein of your Austrian historical namesake. I submit.

Ok, so that's pretty much all I got for right now. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section. My rundown of the best albums of the year (hopefully) coming later this week.

A! Yo...

New Killa video is hot. Is it wrong of me to say that, even though I know it's gonna suck, I'm almost as excited for Killa Season the movie as I am for the album? I know that it's basically going to be on the same level as cinema classics like State Property and State Property 2, but yet I'm oddly attracted to it. Is it simply for fun escapism (much the same reason I like Cam's music)? Or am I developing some kind of mancrush on Cam'ron here?

Uhm, nevermind all that for right now. What's the deal with the verses on her? I understand that the Dips wanna push Hell Rell to the forefront (especially to follw up on the success that Juelz is having right now)--and this is the best way to do it, with the lead single from Killa Season and the song where Cam talks about his infamous night in DC--but this mix and match verse shit? I'm not feeling it. Either make it the original song, or make it the remix-- the real remix, with Cam's verse about the carjacking last up-- but don't slice it and dice just to make a video and push Rell as hard as possible. I don't know why, but that just bothers me-- strikes me the wrong way.

But whatever. If it helps Killa Season go gold and Rell sell 200 thou, I guess I'll deal with it. Just don't go all G-Unit on us in '06, Dipset (not a very auspicious start with the average at best What The Game's Been Missing!, I might add).

The 2005 Mixtape

Ok, so unlike some folks, I didn't really feel like compiling my own list of the Top Singles of the year 2005. The idea of the single-- a song released to radio and video to sell records-- doesn't really appeal to me, as I'd rather listen to album cuts most of the time. So, instead, I've decided to do a mixtape for the music of '05, which puts together the songs that I think were dope over the past year. Understand, this is not necessarily a list of the best songs released, just ones I liked and ones that would make an interesting mixtape. I've also tried to highlight some good songs that were buried on terrible albums (Garbage, I'm looking at you) as well as selections from mixtapes and EPs and what not. The sequence was made with an eye towards creating a decent mix to listen to, so the order of the tracks is not meant to be a ranking.

Anyway, on to the mixtape! (Note: All of the following tracks will actually fit on a garden variety 80 minute CD, so head to your favorite downloading outlet and make one for yourself. Or, if you're nice, maybe I'll even make you a copy...)

1. System of a Down - Old School Hollywood
As any mixtape veteran knows (or anyone thats seen/read High Fidelity), a good mixtape has to bring the thunder with the first track-- something thats gonna get the blood flowing, be the kickoff for the musical madness thats about to come. Well, in 2005, you couldn't ask for a better lead in track than this, because it not only gets things started with just the right brand of intensity, it kicks down the doors and forces its way in. The air raid siren intro, the vocoder enhanced vocals, the thunderous drums-- this track just absolutely kicks your head in.

2. We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
While nothing is gonna match the intensity level of SOAD, this track certainly packs enough punch. The guitars chug and the drums dance, creating a foot stomping rocker that drives me nearly mental when I play it in the car. It's almost impossible to get the refrain of "My body is your body, I won't tell anybody/ If you want to use my body, go for it" out of your head though, I warn you. Hat tip to Kyle for first poining me in the direction of these NYC rockers.

3. M.I.A. - Pull Up The People
My favorite song from one of the blogosphere's most championed/debated/hated artists of '05. Something about the stylish way she endlessly repeats her name during the intro and the hot beat that just pulls me in. I don't know much about her politics except for the fact that her father is/was a Tamil Tiger, and I don't particularly know if M.I.A. is truly a "soldier on a roll," but as long as she keeps making jams like this, we won't have any problems.

4. Lady Sovereign - Random
Had to continue the multicultural flavor that M.I.A. started with everyone's favorite pint sized 16 year old British fire starter. From the somewhat bizarre lyrics (much in the vein of fellow Brit The Streets) to the bouncy beat to the tossing in of the Freddy Kreuger chant midway through the song-- this song brings the funk by the ton. With the marketing muscle of Jay-Z and Def Jam behind her, she should be big in '06 (more on that tomorrow).

5. Cam'ron feat. Hell Rell - Get 'Em Daddy (Eye of the Beholder)
The cocky confidence just slides all over this track, so much so that you can almost feel the swagger of Cam and Rell seeping through your speakers. This is probably my single favorite rap song of the year, from Cam'rons boasting on the intro ("They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thats why I look in the mirror every morning and realize how fly I am. They wanna know what fucking label I'm signing to? I'm the CEO of Diplomat Records, I sng myself-- Get your cake up!") to the call and response "Get 'Em Daddy!" "Daddy Got 'Em!" chorus, I just fucking love this song. In a year when the Diplomats as a whole had a lot of moments in the sun, this track stands as the pinnacle of Dipset output for the year. The remix bumps too.

6. Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch
Brooding yet bouncy, this track is a delicious slice of dark electro-pop from Witching Hour. one of the years better albums. I played this song about five times in a row the frist time I heard it, and it definitely makes the morning drive to work a little more lively. Shout to my man Douglas for first tipping me off to this awesome little jam.

7. Secret Machines - Better Bring Your Friends
Another foot stomping rocker from a band that is rapidly becoming one of my favorites. The Road Leads Where It's Led, the EP from which this song comes, was one of my favorites of the year, what with the covers of Van Morrison and Bob Dylan, among others. I'm definitely hoping for a new album from them in 2006.

8. Audioslave - Yesterday to Tomorrow
Simply put: With about a minute and a half to go in the song, Tom Morello absolutely kills it. Best guitar solo of 2005 (for those of you that care about such things).

9. The Clipse feat. Ab-Liva and Sandman - Zen
The song, first heard on the Anger Management 3 mixtape, only hinted at what We Got It For Cheap 2 confirmed: Holy fuck, the Clipse are back. And they're not the same wack dudes who hide behind the Neptunes beats (back when the Neptunes absolutely owned the production game), they're a holy terror. And the beat? Fuck Gwen Stefani, this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

10. Kanye West feat. Jay-Z - Diamonds Are Forever (Remix)
Ok, so I'm a bigger fan of this song than some others, maybe. But I was disappointed that Late Registration didn't feature more bangers like this one, and Jigga's verse? My Lord. "Difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week," indeed.

11. Z-Trip feat. Chuck D - Shock And Awe
Even though Public Enemy has sort of fumbled towards irrelevancy, it's still always nice to hear Chuck D rip a fat beat. Z-Trip's thunderous rock influenced (remember this is the dude that came to prominence behind tracks like "Rockstar" off the Return of the DJ Volume II compilation) beat serves as the perfect foundation for Chuck to unload his discontentment and righteous anger.

12. Ghostface - Be Easy
Staten Island's in the house, put the record on replay. How is it that Ghostface is the only Wu member who you can reasonably expect quality records from anymore? Pete Rock on the beats comes correct, and Ghost tosses off one liners like "You be frontin' like you got a lot chicks/ You at home, beating your dick." After Kanye, I'm afraid to say that had his new record dropped this year it'd probably be on my best albums list, but if it sounds anything like this, it'd have to be on it. And a pretty high numver, too-- this song is nuts. 'Face also shines on "The Mask" from Dangerdoom's The Mouse and The Mask, one of the more fun records of the year.

13. Royksopp - What Else Is There (Thin White Duke remix)
Jacques Lu Cont has been dropping solid remixes (Since U Been Gone, Mr. Brightside, Starsailor's "Four To The Floor") for a while now. Here, he works his magic on one of the better tracks from a very good album, The Understanding, mixing up eight and a half minutes of chilled, understated funk. Because of "Poor Leno," everyone associates these Norweigans are the "chill out" kings, but they're far more versatile than that, as this remix actually turns down the tempo from the original, but it works. Another solid slab of wax from Mr. LuCont.

14. Deep Dish featuring Stevie Nicks - Dreams (Fleetwood Mac cover)
It's ok to be skeptical. I mean, the idea of a house remix of.... a Fleetwood Mac song? Well, it does boggle the mind a bit, certainly. But the fact that Stevie Nicks herself flew over to record the vocals, so it's obviously got her seal of approval, helps quell the suspicion. And then somehow, the deep, bouncy beat manages to wrap its grooves into Nicks' vocals, and you've got yourself a bangin' little number.

15. Garbage - Sex Is Not The Enemy
When I was initially trying to order this mix, I had this song at #1 or #2 in the sequence. But I decided that you couldn't find a better opener than SOAD, and We Are Scientists just fit. Slotting this in at third would have blown my load too early, so here it is, providing one last rev-up before the final descent. I get off on the roaring guitars and the cooing of Shirley Manson. So sue me.

16. Atmosphere - Little Man
If you're just talking about putting quality product on the streets, between Felt 2 and the new Atmosphere album, Slug might just be my MC of the year. This song, which caps off You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having, is one of my favorites of the year. Ant cooks up yet another soulful heatrock, and Slug addresses his son, his father, and himself with each of his verses. I particularly enjoy his self-critique "Hows the love? Hows the music? Hows the self abusiveness?...You're getting old, your raps are exhausting, stop it, everybody knows that you've lost it." It's almost as if, even in full on somber mode, Slug takes the time to wink at the detractors that have been harping since Overcast (three albums ago).

17. Maximo Park - Acrobat
Uhm, when did Warp start putting out indie rock records? I mean, aren't they all Prefuse 73 and Autechre? Now they're signing the British version of Interpol? Hey, whatever. I warn you, this song is kind of a downer, but that's why it's the second to last track-- would be a very depressing way to end the mix. However, it is understated and somehow wormed it's way into my consciousness. A strong track from a strong album.

18. Sia - Breathe Me
Just as this song wrapped up the final act of Six Feet Under, so to it closes out this mixtape in haunting fashion. Remixes by Four Tet (who I like better as a remixer than full blown solo artist) and especially Mylo were nice, but they can't touch the emotion packed original. Just a tremendous, beautiful song, which ends a look back at 2005 all neat and tidy like.

Also, since were in the full on listing mode, do check out Skeet's rundown of the Babes of '05 which he dropped this past week. Quite good. Skeet Skeet Skeet!

HOLY SHIT!

Hey, I thought the worst. And say what you want (and I'd probably agree with you. If you wanna throw around the words "worst" and "BCS" and "team" and "EVER," I'd pretty mch agree with you). But the only two words that matter rigtht now are....

ACC and CHAMPIONS.

I am fucking amazed. Uhm yeah.... Orange Bowl, here we come? Wait. what?